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Saturday, January 13th, 2007
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Sunday, January 7th, 2007
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now and again, it seems worse than it is but mostly the view is accurate
you see your breath in the air as you climb up the stairs
to that coffin you call your apartment
and you sink in your chair brush the snow from your hair
and drink the cold away
and you're not really sure what you're doing this for
but you need something to fill up the days
a
few
more
hours
there's a dream in my brain that just won't go away
it's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago
and i'm standing on a bridge in the town where i lived
as a kid with my mom and my brothers
and then the bridge disappears and i'm standing on air
with nothing holding me
and i hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark
for all the starving eyes to see
like the ones
we've
wished
on
now i'm confused, is this depth really you?
and do these dreams have any meaning?
i think it's more like a ghost that's been following us both
something vague we are not seeing
something more like a feeling
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and every one of our attempted conversations, ends with me in your arms and our lips pressed together everyone one of our attempts at being friendly, ends with us realizing that we can't be just friends
on january 7th 2006, meagan krystina bianchini became the happiest girl in the history of the world
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Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007
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wish list:
-slips/dresses
-a leaf necklace!
-new nikes
-white gem ring
-longer eyelashes
-a circle bed
-a green blanket
-soft slippers
-other side nose piercing
if for a holiday you get me one of those things i might love you more
(if i didn't love you before you bought it, it won't make me love you because
you can't just buy someone something and expect them to actually LOVE you
but if i loved you to start with then i might just love you a little more!!!!)
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+
edward norton
11:11
"i don't believe that anybody feels
the way i do about you now"
summer love
"i'll be your anything"
lost perfection
fight club
long hair
stay beautiful
-
i need ###
i need $$$
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
-stop biting my nails
-do better in math
-don't cut my hair
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Sunday, December 31st, 2006
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"sometimes i sit at home and wonder is he's sitting at home thinking of me
and wondering if i'm sitting at home thinking about him
or am i just wasting my time?"
i'm going to danielle's party pretty soon, i just need to get ready then pick up chels!
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"and if this is what it takes just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what i did to you, and all the hell i put you through
i always catch the clock, it's 11:11 now you want to talk.
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine"
2006:
"and if i hurt you, then i'm sorry. please don't think that this was easy
then you bring me home because we both know what it's like to be alone,
and i'm dreaming in your living room but we don't have much room to live"
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Saturday, December 30th, 2006
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i love finding old burnt cd's from the summer
this one from june is so scratched though
but it has all my old favourite cute songs
1 konstantine- something corporate
2 rapid hope loss- dashboard confessional
3 me and the moon- something corporate
4 some song off myspace
5 here without you
6 lost without you- blink 182
7 breaking away- ratatat
8 shirts and gloves- dashboard confessional
9 remember to breathe- dc
10 photobooth- deathcab for cutie
11 summer skin- deathcab for cutie
12 myspace song
13 some song off laguna beach
14 soft rock star- metric
15 crank heart- xiu xiu
16 3am acoustic
and i'm making a new cd right now too
1 lost perfection, between the buried and me
2 apocalypse now and then, everytime i die
3 what we have become, between the buried and me
4 remember to feel real, armor for sleep
5 aesthetic, between the buried and me
6 wait for tomorrow, blessthefall
7 wake up the dead, comeback kid
8 false idols fall, comeback kid
9 fashion tips baby, fear before the march of flames
10 through waiting, greeley estates
11 kids kids kids, heavyheavylowlow
12 something was always missing but it was never you, misery signals
and after all this time you still give me butterflies
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Friday, December 29th, 2006
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i still haven't decided where i' m going on new years
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Monday, December 25th, 2006
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they were perfect, they were beautiful. they met in the middle of nowhere,
in the middle of nothing, and kissed where everyone could see. no words,
no before, no after. they kissed and it was perfect
christmas!
i got lots of nice stuff but mostly money
$$$385$$$
it's a missing emotion, a missing person
hey love, i'm missing you
it's more than just 11:11, it's more than a hug goodbye
hey love, the sky's still blue
things are great but where are you?
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Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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waste all your time with me
i know i'm a mess right now but don't give up, believe
i'd wait it out for you
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Thursday, December 21st, 2006
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it doesn't matter what i'm thinking, what i tell myself to do
i'll end up calling
i went home sick today because my stomach feels absolutely terrible!
and work underpayed me
and booked me on new years eve when i booked it off
i need to quit asap
ps i need 16 dollars!
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Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
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all i want for christmas is you!
-5
like four days until christmas
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Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
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+
christmas! 6
i found my favourite necklace
dance
i stopped biting my nails
and i put my ring on the other finger
(dayle told me it was bad luck to wear it on the left hand!)
-
psychology test
biology test
math test x2
god that was strange to see you again, introduced by a friend of a friend
smiled and said "yes, i think we've met before", in that instant it started to pour
captured a taxi despite all the rain, we drove in silence across p. champlain
and all of that time you thought i was sad, i was trying to remember your name
...this scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin, tryed to reach deep but you couldn't get in
now you're outside me, you see all the beauty,
repent all your sin
it's nothing but time and a face that you lose
i chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
i'll write you a postcard i'll send you the news from a house down the road
from real love
live through this and you won't look back
there's one thing i want to say so i'll be brave
you were what i wanted, i gave what i gave
i'm not sorry i met you i'm not sorry it's over i'm not sorry there's nothing to save.
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Monday, December 18th, 2006
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let’s sail away to where the water goes some endless open space
let’s sail away
take only what you need, my love, and leave the rest behind
don’t be afraid of where we’ll go, my love
i promise you will be fine
now you are the only one thats mine
let’s sail away past the reflections of the light
let’s sail away floating weightless through the night
let’s sail away like a photograph, fading to all white
it’s finally all right
forget all the mistakes my love
they won’t be made again
leave the photos in the drawer, my love
we no longer need them
we both know where we’ve been
let’s sail away disappearing in a mist
let’s sail away with a whisper and a kiss
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i adore the way you carry yourself with the grace of a thousand angels overhead
i love the way the galaxy starts to melt when we become one
...hold on to me and if you feel your grip getting loose
just know that i'm right next to you!
+
christmas break is in 4 more school days
my parents are going to las vegas on the 20th and i get to stay home!
my hair just keeps getting longer
-
math
math
math
math
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Sunday, December 17th, 2006
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too many times we put our hearts on the line, hoping that this time it's going to be different. too many times we play the waiting game, because we're afraid of making decisions
meagan bianchini, this could be an opportunity if you promise to let it grow, because you're the one i love says: it's this feeling in the bottom of my heart mixed with butterflies that i get when i think about it meagan bianchini, this could be an opportunity if you promise to let it grow, because you're the one i love says: that's what it is meagan bianchini, this could be an opportunity if you promise to let it grow, because you're the one i love says: i don't know what to call it
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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8days until christmas
i have all my shopping done, i just need perfume for cassandra
and i'm pretty sure that's it
how does it feel to know you're everything i need?
the butterflies in my stomach could bring me to my knees
lately all i've been doing is sleeping
seeing friends
watching movies and listening to music
and! i'm thinking of little things i can get for
all my friends for christmas.. i'm so excited
...and to be completely honest, you're not like all the rest.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 5th, 2006
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5 DAYS
FIVE DAYYYYS UNTIL THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE
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Friday, November 3rd, 2006
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and i know it's not to get away from me, you just need a change of scenery
so strange how everything went wrong so fast, and i hope that this confusion does not last
these words might be too little too late, and i'm afraid that i've already lost you now
three months equals eternity and this will be so hard
and i will long to hold you in my arms
and when you ask, "do you love me"?
i do reply with "yes, most certainly". i always hesitate, there's something lingering
and i will try harder to be all that i can be
but these words might be too little too late
and i'm afraid that i've already lost you now
three months equals eternity and this will be so hard
and i will long to hold you in my arms
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62319's journal
